Growing up, we all have questions like , "why do I have to keep between the lines?" or "when is it ‘OK’ to say that?’.Mom and Dad never did provide a satisfactory answer, but we all had to accept it, none the less. As we have gotten older, and most of us wiser, we have come across other queries that we can not resolve..We all have them, some of us dwell on them, most of us just worry about what tomorrow will bring. That is defiantly not a bad thing to do, but those questions always haunt our subconscious.
I admit, I have lived both of those moments and still wonder why! There are many questions in my lifetime that have seemed profound. Questions like "where did we come from?" or "Why are we here on this rock we call Earth?" I remember once being in a rainforest in southern Oregon, asking myself those two particular questions(in that particular order, none the less) and commenced to give myself a headache! I then realized at that moment, the answers to those two great questions would hopefully, one day be answered, but, then wasn’t the time. There were many other inquiries, like those two, that may or may not have a cut and dry answer, we may be able to answer. And at most, may be a lot less taxing on the brain to process.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean questions like, "Why is the sky blue?" or "Why are we hungry three hours after eating Chinese food?" I speak of the life altering stuff that mold and shape each one of us as we soar through these cosmos, dodging asteroids at 67,062 miles per hour.
I recently decided to delve into and share my top thirteen "life altering" questions, and in my humble and lay belief, the reasoning thereof. Yes, I know the old adage about opinions, but when it comes down to tanning the hide or tossing it out for the dogs to gnaw on, that opinion is yours, and yours alone. Right or wrong, you must live with the answers! It has been a long time coming and it is due time to get these questions(not necessarily the answers, mind you) out in the open! I'm going to start this process slowly and share my top three now, and add as time goes on,
Why is it if you tell someone you are a writer, they have the story that will win you a Pulitzer, Kennedy Center Honors, and a Nobel all in the same week?
I recall one time around Christmas, I decided to give myself the gift of a well-deserved vacation from my pencil and notepad until after the end of the year. I had been writing non-stop for a few months and needed the break. As I was sitting at the bar that New Years eve, to enjoy a toast with the other revelers at the stroke of midnight, to bring in the new year with a bang, something happened. A lady started a conversation with me, It was the holiday season after all and I didn’t want to be rude. As all normal bar conversations go, eventually she asked what I did for a living. I should have lied,. I should have told her I sold shoes at Macy’s or I was a rocket scientist, but since I didn’t graduate from MIT, I told her I was a freelance writer. At that point, the flood gates opened. She proceeded to give me her biography and told me I needed to write her life story. She "grew up in a trailer on the west side of town and struggled and scraped to make it to where she was today!" A best seller, she lamented.
When I mentioned(when I could finally get a word in) I was on a self prescribed vacation, she just kept rambling about her hardships and what a great story it would make. Her husband had abandoned her and their five kids. and, at that time, she had no clue where their next meal would be coming from(why she was out drinking and spending money, I still don’t know). She "somehow" pulled herself out of the trenches and though, she was still struggling but she decided that she could make it work! "A great Hallmark movie if you ask me." I tried to emphasize, again and again, that I was trying to enjoy the night and told her I wasn’t thinking about writing at all, but nothing helped. When I finally had enough and told her to shut up, she got insulted and stormed off!
Thinking back to that moment, who knows, it may have been a Pulitzer prize winning story that could have been made into a blockbuster movie. At that time. though, not unlike today, I didn’t care. She had invaded my world, encroached on my personal space, being there, uninvited and unwelcome.
Don’t get me wrong, she was not the first person to do this, and I’m certain, will not be the last. I have had numerous people give me unsolicited story ideas because their’s "are the best in the world." and I need to let the world know. For the record. I have my own ideas, just as you do, some I share, others I don’t.
I mean, I don’t tell my bartender how to pour my beer or give my rocket scientist friend(yes, I have one) unsolicited advice about ‘secret project XJ57-B.’ So if one day we meet at the bar and you ask what I do, when I respond I’m a rocket scientist, please don’t give me your story idea!
Why do women with ugly feet wear open-toed shoes?
This is a question has been burning in the back of my mind for the longest time. This query actually spurned this diatribe. I’m still not certain why it ended up number nine!
I was sitting at a bar(funny how so many of these questions come up in a bar) one evening, working on a rewrite of something. Or was it an original greeting card that I had already sold and hadn’t even written yet, who knows. I have always lived by the mantra that there’s nothing like an imposing deadline to get one motivated.
This girl sitting next to me asked what I was doing. She was cute, not SI swimsuit cover gorgeous, but cute, in a girl next door kind of way. I said I was a writer and it was something I should have finished the week prior. Then, as it always happens, when I’m in the middle of greatness, or simply talking to a cute girl, I got a little nervous and dropped my pencil. As I bent down to find it, I caught a glimpse of this cute girl sitting next to me’s feet!
If you have ever seen that National Geographic special about the Giant Condors of California, those birds had nothing on her. In the series, the narrator speaks, the camera pans, zooming in on this majestic bird of California,. featuring it’s angry talons clutching the branch, curled underneath, ready to be released and be extended for hunting..
Seeing her feet, my thought was of that great bird of prey, the only problem was there was no branch, only her shoes. Twisted, gnarled and bent, her toes, they were at odd angles, in the designer, open toed sling backs that she was wearing. Her second and middle toes seeming to battle with the other three! As I at stared at her feet(which seemed like hours) , I didn’t know if her toes were waving to me, or were preparing to burrow into the nape of the neck of some poor woodland creature, that would soon become her next meal!
I’m not certain if she should have been a case study for Podiatry monthly or her shoes were just giving her injustice, but something had to give. It looked horrific, It was painful to observe in the two seconds that took me to find my pencil.
Again, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying my feet look any better than hers did. I’m almost certain they don’t. At least I do know when I should show them and when I should not.
After that event, I have since taken notice to others’ feet in social settings (no, I don’t have a foot fetish and yes, I think that crazy guy in Arkansas who broke into women’s houses to suck on their toes should be locked away for a very, very long time) and noticed the same thing. Women can dress to the nines, and yet, forget about their feet!
I once noticed a women, and it had appeared that she opened a can of Vienna Sausages, arranged all five in a ½ inch o-ring and placed that horrific creation as an adornment on the cap of her shoes for the world to view! Frightening, to say the least.
Though I started this to ask why, and am not writing these words to give advise, I must on this particular situation.
If one toe is crossing another for good luck or you appear to be perched in a sequoia, give your feet a break and wear loafers or Top Siders! They are both acceptable in most situations and you will be doing yourself and others around you a favor that may last a lifetime, or for at least for that night.
Why do we continue to do things to impress others, when the only person we really need to impress is ourselves?
In my travels across this great land, I have experienced many monumental events, and been to many spectacular places! I have been to LL Bean in Freeport Maine at 4:30 a.m., and driven through a great Sequoia in northern California. I even drove through a tornado once in southeastern Iowa.
I’ve won money in Tahoe, lost money in Reno, and broken even in Vegas! I have been lower than the bottom rung on the ladder of life at times, and at other moments sung from the rooftops at the top of my lungs; because it seemed like the thing to do at the time.
Those events didn’t make me a great person, and they certainly don’t make me a great writer, but they do make me who I am! I did these things for me. So I could have the memories, stories and experiences that make life worth living.
I’ve been out of practice with a lot of things in life lately, sharing feelings, being a good listener, and too many other issues to list. But what is most important to me, I have neglected me, and my writing. People tell me I’m good, I tend to ignore them! Since I am my toughest critic, I know what’s good, what’s not, what may, or may not be worth reading. At least that’s my opinion anyway!
I guess what I am realize as I answer my last question(for now) is, I do these things for myself, and I am my harshest critic. Because, I am the one I have to answer to when all is said and done. I know there are many people that are saying (as you who are read this) "I must do this for them!"
As far as life goes, Forget them, let them do "it:" for themselves. I don’t want to sound self centered(nor, do I want you to be), I believe in family, friends, and helping others! The bottom line is though, if you are not there for yourself, you cannot be there for others!
I did not mean for this to get philosophical or go esoteric, it was all meant to be fun! What we all need to realize is; that finding yourself can be fun, that is, if you really want or need to!
So accept this for humor, or for self awareness, that’s your call! But if it makes you think, or laugh, then you are really ready to enjoy life.
Then again , if it brings you face to foot to a girl with ugly feet wearing open-toed shoes and you tell her she’s bringing injustice to this world, my here work is done!
(My 1st, blog, aorry I missed the climax)
