I found myself in that corner last week.
Hanging out with friends, a great party weekend. Good friends, good food, and the potential for the making of great memories. I chose to go to a sad place, as opposed to enjoying the moment and living for the day.
I had always considered myself as "the strong one" or "the rock." I seldom share emotions and never show them. This night was different though. Sitting away from my friends, listening to songs that reminded me of what I could have had(if I had opened up), should have had(if I wasn't so pig-headed), and things that can never be because it was too late. The rock crumbled a bit, the walls were vulnerable. The emotion was like a raw nerve, one wrong move, and the pain too intense to bear.
Luckily I had people who cared to help me through the moment.
I think what happened was I have recently went through a life change myself. No it wasn't life threatening, but drastic, none the less, and hadn't dealt with the emotions(hate those things.)
I had resided at the same address for over eleven years. Met many friends, made lot's of memories, and even fell in love. Life was good, the planets were all aligned. Then my landlady of 90 years passed away. The night of her funeral, her daughter, assured me and my upstairs neighbor, nothing to worry about. Then three months down the road, the storyline makes a dramatic twist.
I was shocked, I was
told “no worries, nothing will change.”
All of a sudden, there’s reality staring me in the face, in the form of a letter, stating I had thirty days to find a
new place to live.
I sat there, re-reading the letter, thinking that my
land-lady was spinning in her grave! She loved me and the tenant upstairs. We were “her boys” and in a sense, she was a family
member to us as well. Every holiday, we would get pie or cookies, and every
time we did something wrong, she would call us into the main house and talk
about it. When this happened, we left feeling like we let a family member down,
not a business associate.
I was lost, not sure what I was going to do, but found the courage to make life better out of what I thought was a bad situation.
I have realized in the last few weeks, it was a blessing, not a curse that I had to uproot my life and relocate to another fertile field.
I share this, about change and emotion, because another friend posted a video on her facebook page. It was about a 17 year old boy who lost his fight to cancer but had the best attitude towards life.Granted, my change was not as life altering as cancer, and I am not trying to compare my situation to his, but after my selfish breakdown last week, my problems are minuscule, compared to what others have to endure in life.
We all have to make changes, some good, some bad, but we find a way to make it work. Life is to fragile and short to do different. In a blink of an eye, it may be gone.
In a nutshell, live life to it's fullest, because tomorrow may never arrive. Those weren't his words, but that's what I summarized from the short video. Life can be short, but what you do with the moments is what counts. So, have fun, be safe, and make lots of memories!
