Five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes...

As I sit here tonight, on the cusp of the eve of my birth, I am quietly reflecting on the last twelve months.

Not a whole lot to say, especially since I don't talk about myself often. Something I wrote a long time ago:

Ask me to talk about my family, I can talk for days,

Ask me to talk about my writings, I can talk for hours,

Ask me to talk about me, I can talk for two minutes tops,

I know the reasons, I'm just not saying.

 

 

 

 

I have always considered myself, a rock. A stable point where my friends and family can go to and know that I will be there for them, for advice, a smile, a hug, or a swift kick in the butt if they need it to get back to where they need to be.

 

This year was an emotional roller coaster, lost my best friend in March, but got back in touch with a few others that I hadn't talked to for a very long time. The latter doesn't fill the void of the prior, but it helped. I may have not expressed it(not big on showing emotion) but it helped.

I have had quiet nights reflecting(not unlike tonight) and boisterous nights of revelling that are better left undisclosed. Moments of winning big, and times of almost losing the shirt off my back. My saving grace is something I have talked of in the past. Karma!

 

God has smiled down on me and opened that window when the door was shut, and been by my side, even when it seemed like I wasn't on his.

 

I have had bitter moments over the past year, we all have! I realizes a long time ago though, that being bitter for long periods creates dark places in out heart. And eventually, our heart is so filled with darkness, we can't see the way to help others in need.

 

For me, helping others in their time of crisis, whether it's helping with a flat tire, or a shoulder to cry on after a broken heart, it makes me feel better.

 

I am no Don Quixote, I am not going out to right all wrongs, while tilting at windmills, but when someone finds me and they are in need, I gladly do what I can to make it "all good." Sometimes I can't fix the problem, but find a way to help them on their path to well being.

 

By writing this, I am not asking for sainthood, praise, or even a beer(but, if you see me in two days, feel free to say "I'm buying!") I'm just asking, you, the reader, that next time a friend needs help, a kind word or just a hug, take a moment and be the best friend you can be.  You never can tell, maybe one of these days, I may even ask for advise or a hug!

 

Be safe, have fun, and make lots of memories!

 

Until next time...

 

 

There's no free lunch...

We all love free. I remember once I was in New Orleans, walking down Bourbon street and saw a sign that said 'Buy one beer, get three free' where do you think I was for about four(I think)hours?

Something else from one of my essays that I haven't marketed yet:

Why is it we all know our limit of how much to drink until someone decides to buy us one more?

 

Come on, each of us have been there. It’s time to leave, too much fun has been had by most, then your best friend says, "don’t leave, the next one’s on me!" You say to yourself (sometimes out loud) "I know I have had enough, but what the hell, I’ll sleep tomorrow at the office!" So you stay and make a near ass of yourself.

We all have done this a time or few. The problem is, as humans, we can’t resist Free! "I have a coupon for ‘buy one package of chicken livers, get one free’ I’ve got to get them, they’re free!" No one in their right mind needs or wants a package of chicken livers, much less two, but you say "hey, they’re free!"

That same rational, or lack thereof, goes with free beer, even though you know that you are already responsible for killing one keg and are well on your way to kill it’s brother!

The next day as you say to yourself, (at least I have) "it seemed like the thing to do at the time!" Then again, if for no other reason, it makes great fodder for the next story!

 

Free is never free. Yes, it is great in concept. 'Order by mid-night tonight and we will double your offer' "I really don't want two 'In-The-Shell Egg Scramblers', but OK" then I look at my credit card statement, delivery and special handeling cost more than the second egg scrambler itself, and I just paid it twice. I don't even like scrambled eggs!

 

I recently signrd up ro get a free sample of dish detergent, now. my e-mail box if full every day with new auto loan deals and surveys! I don't want a new car and I certainly hate answering questions!

 

I guess where I am going with this is everything has a price(I'm guessing, because I have had writers block for three weeks now.), "Yea, I'll help you move, you helped me last year" then you remember your friend lives on the forth floor and there are no elevators. Or, "No worries, I'll tell your girlfriend you were with me." Then in a night of drunken stupor, the truth is revealed, and you are in recovery mode quicker than a failed light on the space shuttle(not that's around anymore, thanks barry)!

 

I have now realized, whether it's time or money,  that giving from the heart, and not expecting anything in return is the best avenue to take. I give because I want to, not because I have to. If I am not available that Saturday, 'sorry for your luck, I am already committed.'  If they are a true friend and know you, they will understand.

 

Don't get me wrong in my ramblings, helping others is a good thing, but remember, you are your first priority. and blowing off that doctor's appointment to move your friend or give that homeless man the two dollars that you were going to use to by a scratch-off(in a separate timeline you won $10,000,000 on that scratch-off, BTW) you would not still have a sprained back, and been able to hire a moving company and help the homeless guy a lot better of you had used the $2.00 with your original intention!

 

By no means am I saying, stop giving to PBS, the RNC, Ducks Unlimited, or helping a buddy out. I am saying give with an open heart and not expect an immediate return. Karma is a powerful entity in the universe, and good comes back, tenfold. The only thing that sucks about karma is bad comes back one-hundred fold! Been there, done that that, lost the T-shirt in a mosh pit, another sad story for yet another day!

 

So, keep giving, but give with out expectations, it will be worth it in the long run!



A quarter, two nickles and a dime...

Forty five cents, also, the number of minutes I have been trying to come up with something to write about.

Then it hit me, why not write about change. No, not the coins in my pocket, nor the false hope we were promised four years ago(saving that one for November 3rd) but the every day events we deal with.

No one likes change! "what do you mean you don't have my brand? If I wanted another brand, I would have asked for it!" But after going to five stores and not finding your favorite tooth paste, you decide to try another, and realize, "It's not so bad after all!"

We all get set in our ways. "I have chicken on Monday, pizza on Tuesday. there is no way I can have pizza today." We find a way to adapt though.

Change can sometimes be a good thing, although when it happens, we, as humans, kick, scream, gnash teeth and go along because we have no choice.

Sometimes we realize what we are doing to ourselves or the ones we care about, we have to make a change. Whether it's harmful to our self or others, it must happen. I wrote something once about self-realization:

He sat by the lake that crisp September morning. watching the loons, prepare for their long journey southward.  he then noticed the trees, had changed from a vibrant green to a flaming red. He then realized, summer was over, it was time for a change.

No, i don't remember the exact events at the time(which is surprising, because I can normally pinpoint all my writings) reading it now I realize change isn't always a bad thing.

It's amazing what we can see and do when we change our routine ever so slightly. A few weeks ago, I found a local farmer's market and decided to stop because I was curious. I normally take a different route, but this day I turned left instead of right. I found, fresh vegetables, local honey and some great boiled peanuts. Things I never would have found if I went with my regular routine.

Sometimes it just takes a wrong turn to find something more exciting and different.

Something else I wrote once,(remember this one.) I was moving away, at the time,  no idea how long or when I would be back. I penned this for my close-knit group of friends and asked them not to read it until I was gone:

The echoes of our laughter....

 

Though we've gone our separate ways, there are a few things I carry with me always

The happy times we spent together...

The lonely time when I just needed a hug...

The sad time, when I just needed a friend to talk to....

Or, the echoes of our laughter.

Embrace those whims of change and discover where the unknown path takes you. You may find a new happiness, or just back to the path you belonged on to start, but with fantastic stories to share!

Until next time....