Think back, pilgrim… Remember?(John Wayne)...

As Thanksgiving approaches, and the crazy holiday season, I thought I'd take a moment to talk about time, thanks and more of the craziness of the season.

It is difficult to grasp that it's already late November. They say(whoever 'they' is) time flies! It seems just yesterday, it was early summer and we were complaining about the heat. Now it's just a few days until Thanksgiving and I have a frozen turkey to deal with!

I love Thanksgiving, that was our family holiday. Yes, Christmas was the climax of the year, but that afternoon we would pile in the car and go to an aunts house to finish the day. Thanksgiving was the day we slept in, skipped breakfast and converged on the kitchen as a family and made dinner.

It wasn't about the turkey, of football, it was about being together. I am thankful for those memories, and thankful every day for my family and friends.

Since Mom and Dad are gone, I don't see my family every day, but I make a point to call my brother a few times a week and check in. He, Fran, and the kids are all I have.

I take that back, I have a close knit group of friends that I consider family as well.

I am thankful of all the people in my life, because they create the path I call life! By their words, gestures, and kindness, they help me decide what my next move is. Whether it's moment, day by day, or year by year.

It's the 'Butterfy Effect' "the idea, used in chaos theory, that a very small difference in the initial state of a physical system can make a significant difference to the state at some later time

[from the theory that a butterfly flapping its wings in one part of the world might ultimately cause a hurricane in another part of the world]"

 

It is amazing how a smile first thing in the morning, or a harsh word can set the tone for the entire day, or sometimes longer.

 

I try to not let the small things get to me, I live my life stoic, non-emotional, 'the strong one'. It's not easy, and it can get lonely at times. but "That's who I am, and how I deal with life."

 

I may not say it all the time, but I am thankful for the gifts I receive in life, whether it's a new shirt, a hug, or a smile from a stranger. I am grateful that someone cares, even if it's only for a moment.

 

We all need to be grateful for the blessings of thanksgiving we have 365 days a year, I know I am.

 

Until the official holiday season begins...

 

 

Santa Clause is coming to town...

Another night, another moment of not knowing what to say.

As I sit here, hoping for inspiration, I continue to babble on. The holiday season is right around the corner! Unless you are a manager at Wal-Mart, then Christmas started in August.

I love the holidays, I have already been invited to two parties, and it's only a little over a week past my birthday.

The holidays are a time of joyous celebration, a time to embrace loved ones, and forget about petty differences you had with a friend and family.

I love and hate the holidays, I love it because I get to spend time with family. but hate dealing with all the commercialism. Like I said, the poor Wal-Mart manager must have two calenders in his office, one for day to day operations, and one for Holidays!

"Let's look, okay, Halloween starts in July, Christmas in August, Valentines Day starts January 3rd, I think I am covered until February 15th when I have to dust off the Easter baskets and get ready for summer"

I'm not sure why, we the retail consumer have let this happen, but it has.

I miss the days when there was no Halloween until the week of October 31st and  Christmas music was not allowed until "Black Friday." And if you even thought about it, you were guaranteed coal and switches in your stocking!

We always look forward to the next "big event" and forget the daily events we encounter every day.

We need to stop 'fast-forwarding' the calender to the next holiday "so we can all get together" and think about today and say to ourselves, what is so wrong with getting together "just because." Life is too short to wait for the next holiday to tell someone how you feel. That holiday maybe too late!

I don't share feelings or show emotion, but I am trying to get better at it. I take it one day at a time, not one holiday to the next. If everyone did that, maybe this world would be a calmer, more serene place to co-exist!

So next time you talk to your family, instead of saying "see you Thanksgiving" say, I'll call you mid-week, maybe we can get together next Sunday! It would probably benefit everyone.

Something to think about, and Happy Holidays!

Five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes...

As I sit here tonight, on the cusp of the eve of my birth, I am quietly reflecting on the last twelve months.

Not a whole lot to say, especially since I don't talk about myself often. Something I wrote a long time ago:

Ask me to talk about my family, I can talk for days,

Ask me to talk about my writings, I can talk for hours,

Ask me to talk about me, I can talk for two minutes tops,

I know the reasons, I'm just not saying.

 

 

 

 

I have always considered myself, a rock. A stable point where my friends and family can go to and know that I will be there for them, for advice, a smile, a hug, or a swift kick in the butt if they need it to get back to where they need to be.

 

This year was an emotional roller coaster, lost my best friend in March, but got back in touch with a few others that I hadn't talked to for a very long time. The latter doesn't fill the void of the prior, but it helped. I may have not expressed it(not big on showing emotion) but it helped.

I have had quiet nights reflecting(not unlike tonight) and boisterous nights of revelling that are better left undisclosed. Moments of winning big, and times of almost losing the shirt off my back. My saving grace is something I have talked of in the past. Karma!

 

God has smiled down on me and opened that window when the door was shut, and been by my side, even when it seemed like I wasn't on his.

 

I have had bitter moments over the past year, we all have! I realizes a long time ago though, that being bitter for long periods creates dark places in out heart. And eventually, our heart is so filled with darkness, we can't see the way to help others in need.

 

For me, helping others in their time of crisis, whether it's helping with a flat tire, or a shoulder to cry on after a broken heart, it makes me feel better.

 

I am no Don Quixote, I am not going out to right all wrongs, while tilting at windmills, but when someone finds me and they are in need, I gladly do what I can to make it "all good." Sometimes I can't fix the problem, but find a way to help them on their path to well being.

 

By writing this, I am not asking for sainthood, praise, or even a beer(but, if you see me in two days, feel free to say "I'm buying!") I'm just asking, you, the reader, that next time a friend needs help, a kind word or just a hug, take a moment and be the best friend you can be.  You never can tell, maybe one of these days, I may even ask for advise or a hug!

 

Be safe, have fun, and make lots of memories!

 

Until next time...

 

 

There's no free lunch...

We all love free. I remember once I was in New Orleans, walking down Bourbon street and saw a sign that said 'Buy one beer, get three free' where do you think I was for about four(I think)hours?

Something else from one of my essays that I haven't marketed yet:

Why is it we all know our limit of how much to drink until someone decides to buy us one more?

 

Come on, each of us have been there. It’s time to leave, too much fun has been had by most, then your best friend says, "don’t leave, the next one’s on me!" You say to yourself (sometimes out loud) "I know I have had enough, but what the hell, I’ll sleep tomorrow at the office!" So you stay and make a near ass of yourself.

We all have done this a time or few. The problem is, as humans, we can’t resist Free! "I have a coupon for ‘buy one package of chicken livers, get one free’ I’ve got to get them, they’re free!" No one in their right mind needs or wants a package of chicken livers, much less two, but you say "hey, they’re free!"

That same rational, or lack thereof, goes with free beer, even though you know that you are already responsible for killing one keg and are well on your way to kill it’s brother!

The next day as you say to yourself, (at least I have) "it seemed like the thing to do at the time!" Then again, if for no other reason, it makes great fodder for the next story!

 

Free is never free. Yes, it is great in concept. 'Order by mid-night tonight and we will double your offer' "I really don't want two 'In-The-Shell Egg Scramblers', but OK" then I look at my credit card statement, delivery and special handeling cost more than the second egg scrambler itself, and I just paid it twice. I don't even like scrambled eggs!

 

I recently signrd up ro get a free sample of dish detergent, now. my e-mail box if full every day with new auto loan deals and surveys! I don't want a new car and I certainly hate answering questions!

 

I guess where I am going with this is everything has a price(I'm guessing, because I have had writers block for three weeks now.), "Yea, I'll help you move, you helped me last year" then you remember your friend lives on the forth floor and there are no elevators. Or, "No worries, I'll tell your girlfriend you were with me." Then in a night of drunken stupor, the truth is revealed, and you are in recovery mode quicker than a failed light on the space shuttle(not that's around anymore, thanks barry)!

 

I have now realized, whether it's time or money,  that giving from the heart, and not expecting anything in return is the best avenue to take. I give because I want to, not because I have to. If I am not available that Saturday, 'sorry for your luck, I am already committed.'  If they are a true friend and know you, they will understand.

 

Don't get me wrong in my ramblings, helping others is a good thing, but remember, you are your first priority. and blowing off that doctor's appointment to move your friend or give that homeless man the two dollars that you were going to use to by a scratch-off(in a separate timeline you won $10,000,000 on that scratch-off, BTW) you would not still have a sprained back, and been able to hire a moving company and help the homeless guy a lot better of you had used the $2.00 with your original intention!

 

By no means am I saying, stop giving to PBS, the RNC, Ducks Unlimited, or helping a buddy out. I am saying give with an open heart and not expect an immediate return. Karma is a powerful entity in the universe, and good comes back, tenfold. The only thing that sucks about karma is bad comes back one-hundred fold! Been there, done that that, lost the T-shirt in a mosh pit, another sad story for yet another day!

 

So, keep giving, but give with out expectations, it will be worth it in the long run!



A quarter, two nickles and a dime...

Forty five cents, also, the number of minutes I have been trying to come up with something to write about.

Then it hit me, why not write about change. No, not the coins in my pocket, nor the false hope we were promised four years ago(saving that one for November 3rd) but the every day events we deal with.

No one likes change! "what do you mean you don't have my brand? If I wanted another brand, I would have asked for it!" But after going to five stores and not finding your favorite tooth paste, you decide to try another, and realize, "It's not so bad after all!"

We all get set in our ways. "I have chicken on Monday, pizza on Tuesday. there is no way I can have pizza today." We find a way to adapt though.

Change can sometimes be a good thing, although when it happens, we, as humans, kick, scream, gnash teeth and go along because we have no choice.

Sometimes we realize what we are doing to ourselves or the ones we care about, we have to make a change. Whether it's harmful to our self or others, it must happen. I wrote something once about self-realization:

He sat by the lake that crisp September morning. watching the loons, prepare for their long journey southward.  he then noticed the trees, had changed from a vibrant green to a flaming red. He then realized, summer was over, it was time for a change.

No, i don't remember the exact events at the time(which is surprising, because I can normally pinpoint all my writings) reading it now I realize change isn't always a bad thing.

It's amazing what we can see and do when we change our routine ever so slightly. A few weeks ago, I found a local farmer's market and decided to stop because I was curious. I normally take a different route, but this day I turned left instead of right. I found, fresh vegetables, local honey and some great boiled peanuts. Things I never would have found if I went with my regular routine.

Sometimes it just takes a wrong turn to find something more exciting and different.

Something else I wrote once,(remember this one.) I was moving away, at the time,  no idea how long or when I would be back. I penned this for my close-knit group of friends and asked them not to read it until I was gone:

The echoes of our laughter....

 

Though we've gone our separate ways, there are a few things I carry with me always

The happy times we spent together...

The lonely time when I just needed a hug...

The sad time, when I just needed a friend to talk to....

Or, the echoes of our laughter.

Embrace those whims of change and discover where the unknown path takes you. You may find a new happiness, or just back to the path you belonged on to start, but with fantastic stories to share!

Until next time....

Sometimes you just need to rip off the band-aid...

Sometimes bad news is hard to deal with. Even if you don't accept it, it's still there. Hanging over you like a dark cloud, waiting to be filled to capacity then bringing on the deluge.

Whether, it's a lost dog, a "C" when you know you deserved an "A" on that paper you submitted, or even a terminal illness, the news is not easy. Yes, some events carry a heavier burden than others, but by not sharing, others can't be there for help and support.

I bring this up because I recently friended someone on Facebook(known him for 20+ years) who thought the best way to share his unfortunate news was to open an account(with the prodding of his wife). She didn't prod him so he could spread the bad news, only to take his mind off of the devastating news.

He went in a different direction though and posted a few days later, that he had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I don't know if I would have the courage to do that, but he did and I'm proud of him for it.

He's taking the fight to the cancer, not letting it get to him. It's going to be a tough row to hoe, but he's not giving up the plow yet.

Sometimes you just have to "pull up anchor" and see where the current takes you. Not hide under the covers and hope the monster in the closet goes away. They seldom do.

Family and friends will be there, you just have to let them know you need them. I know in my past, I have learned that lesson, and am thankful every day of my family and friends. Sometimes all you have to do is reach out, and there will be someone there to brace your fall, and help you get back on your feet.

It is never easy to admit you need help, I know I don't like to be the one needing help, I prefer to be the one for support, but that's fodder for another day.

So, be open and honest with yourself and others,  and you will find the help you need. It may just be a pat on the back, a word of encouragement, or just a hug, but each of those will warm your heart and ease your pain. And maybe then realize that "monster" in the closet is just a dust bunny in the overall scheme of life!

No worries...

Life is stressful, there's never enough time in the day to get everything done that needs to be taken care of. On top of all that, there are those moments that happened earlier in the day that you have to deal with.

You know the ones,  that report that the boss wants at 8am tomorrow,  the revised carpool schedule(from a text message) which means you should have been at the school 7 minutes ago(oops),  or that delivery package you promised to drop off by 5 and it's 4:57 and you are still 14 minutes away.

Some things we have control over, "yea, I could have stayed and finished the report, I could have taken state street and been there on time, or found another drop box for the package. That would have resolved a lot of stress. "

Stress happens every day, it may not be from the boss or a text,  it may come from an off the cuff comment, or from another authoritative figure that you must comply with. Stress is bad, it causes worry, and these issues must be resolved.

But there are some situations that we incur, and, no matter what we try, we can not change the outcome. My fault, your fault, his fault. it is. what it is! We can do nothing about it.

Things like the landlord leaving a note that says "I need to see you:" or your significant other saying "we need to talk" Granted the prior may be  minor compared to the post, but woe some none the less.

Throughout the day, we dwell on these prior moments. The bottom line is, no matter how much we worry, the outcome will happen. We cannot control that. We stress out, sweat, fret and curse at the parking attendant because we are impending doom.

These things cannot be amended, or avoided. Yet they consume our day and distract us from our everyday activities! Things like reports, carpools or deliveries.

You can not change these events, no matter how you try, yet you worry and let yourself become distracted for whats' going to happen in your mind. Not really knowing for sure what is going to take place.

When all is said and done, and your landlord tells you trash day is now Thursday, not Wednesday, and your girlfriend tells you her college roommate is coming to town and she will be staying in the spare bedroom for 2 days, you realize you worried for nothing.

There are some things we know about and can change, and others we don't know about and can't.  There is no reason to stress about whatever we can't change, whatever happens, happens.

Call it fate, karma, or kismet. It is, what it is.  No need to worry about it, if you can't change it, there is no need to let it stress you out!

Until next time...