The enemy of my enemy is...

We all go through the motions of daily life. Some things we like, some we actually enjoy, and some we dread.

Some we abhor so much, we say to ourselves, or even sometimes out loud "I hate when that happens" or "I hate when they do that." Do we really know the definition of the word hate? Most of us "no" so here it is:

hate  (heɪt)
— vb
1.	to dislike (something) intensely; detest
2.	( intr ) to be unwilling (to be or do something)
— n
3.	intense dislike
4.	informal  a person or thing that is hated (esp in the phrase pet hate )
5.	( modifier ) expressing or arousing feelings of hatred: hate mail
[Old English hatian;  related to Old Norse hata,  Old Saxon hatōn,  Old High German hazzēn ]
'hateable
— adj
'hatable
— adj
'hater
— n

 

hate/heɪt/ Show Spelled [heyt] verb, hat·ed, hat·ing, noun

verb (used with object)

.

intense dislike; extreme aversion or hostility.

the object of extreme aversion or hostility.

Before 900; Middle English hat ( i ) en, Old English hatian  (v.); cognate with Dutch haten, Old Norse hata, Gothic hatan, German hassen

Related forms

hat·er, noun

self-hate, noun

un·hat·ed, adjective

un·hat·ing, adjective

un·hat·ing·ly, adverb

Synonyms
1. loathe, execrate; despise. Hate, abhor, detest, abominate  imply feeling intense dislike or aversion toward something. Hate,  the simple and general word, suggests passionate dislike and a feeling of enmity: to hate autocracy. Abhor  expresses a deep-rooted horror and a sense of repugnance or complete rejection: to abhor cruelty; Nature abhors a vacuum. Detest  implies intense, even vehement, dislike and antipathy, besides a sense of disdain: to detest a combination of ignorance and arrogance. Abominate  expresses a strong feeling of disgust and repulsion toward something thought of as unworthy, unlucky, or the like: to abominate treachery.

Yes, a bit much to digest this holiday weekend, but we often use this word too freely, and not really knowing what it means and how it affects others and ourselves.

I don't hate indviduals or groups, I hate moments in times. I hated the day I didn't get the lead in

my junior high play(looking back, it's all good) or the day I lost my first real job (their loss, not mine.)

There are other times that weigh heavier on my heart, most recently, the day Candy's mom called me tell me she died. My heart was black that day. Or, it was time I found myself in a hospital waiting room with my brother. The doctor called us into an eight by eight room, to tell us our father had minutes left to live and the nurse would come get us to say goodbye. When that doctor left, that room shrunk to a stiffening four by four cubicle, and I didn't know what to do next! I still think about that moment to this day.

Two years later, when my mother passed, at least she and I talked, right before she died. The words aren't important here, but the words we shared, I carry with me every always.

Yes, these moments hurt, and yes, hate was in my heart, but it faded, and I realized,  that darkness in my heart didn't help me at all!

These times have changed my life for the better, instead of being soured or turned bitter, I have chosen to try to embrace compassion, compassion for those who are going through what I have, or compassion for those who don't accept the hand that God has dealt them.

I don't walk around with a chip on my shoulder. I don't wish that moment when that doctor told me about my dad on my worst enemy, no one needs to go through that  grief in their life. Granted, it does every day for people I don't know, but it saddens me none the less.  I, myself,  try to do the best I can for my family, friends, and society and will help them if they are ever in that situation again.

I have learned to care for others, as opposed to be angry and hate.

Hate is not the answer, but is a self-help guide to make us love and care more.

Hate less, and love more, this is what I have learned, and live with every day!